


Through Eyes Not My Own

by metroklyn



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Jarvis is Tony's Dog, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-10 18:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12918078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metroklyn/pseuds/metroklyn
Summary: Loki and Tony are perfect strangers, living thousand of miles apart and completely unaware of each other save for small glimpses of each others lives, not that they even realize its more than just a vivid imagination or a hallucination. When the glimpse becomes a connection they fall into lives they can't even explain being a part of to everyone around them.





	Through Eyes Not My Own

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nightalp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightalp/gifts).



> This is my piece for the Frostiron Gift Exchange 2017 and also my first official frostiron piece to be shared on AO3. The prompt was "happy/fluffy", which actually posed somewhat of a challenge to write something without angst while still having a plot that could start and end itself in one go without feeling lacking. When I started this it wasn't meant to be as long as it is, but if it was shorter then it would have felt cramped and rushed. This is pretty much based off a movie I saw on Netflix that I really liked the concept of.

_––-Tony––-_

Snow, white and biting cold. Wanting to eat its way down into Tony’s bones beneath the layers wrapped around his small frame trying to keep his heat in and this bitter cold out. There were trees all around him, large, clinging to a last few shreds of their foliage. Intimidating and skeletal compared to his meager size. Snow crunched underfoot as he walked through them, he could feel it compacting under his boots, could even see the back of another trudging along in front of him, leading the way. One of his hands reached out and he picked up his pace, trying to catch up.

“You’re moving too fast.” Tony murmured, the words just tumbling from his lips without meaning to. The other boy turned, smiling at him, bright blue eyes warm compared to the air around him. Like he should know the name that went with the face, that was how warm the smile was that was being shown to him. Invitingly friendly in the cold.

He caught up with the boy, who had stopped when he called out to him. Tony tried hard to remember his name as he leaned down onto his knees to catch his breath. In his chest the air burned.

“Loki…” There was a hand on his back now, a concerned voice, his chest felt constricted. The burn was hard to ignore, icy air doing nothing as it snaked its way down into his lungs and seized them. Looking up again Tony could see darkness creeping its way around the edges of his vision, blocking out the white landscape around him, swallowing up the concerned face in front of him.

The ground was not a soft cushion of snow when Tony collapsed from the dinner table. No snow around him, no concerned blonde boy whose name he never knew. All the concern came from his Mother, calling his name as she rose up to rush around the table. Her voice reaching him from far away, as if he was sinking in their pool. Tony tried to call out to her, but the darkness got him.

There never was any snow. There never was another boy with caring blue eyes. Just a dinning room and parents, a floor and then more white. A different white.

Hospitals. Tony never liked them, the smell, the lights and all that white. He liked the snow better.

_––-Tony––-_

_Present Day_

Every kid acted like the bell was the savior of the day, Tony totally understood that feeling because at their age he certainly started to get antsy during the last class of the day. Even he got antsy, and he was supposed to be their teacher, but who could blame him? Teaching kids all day was what he loved but by the end of the day he wanted to go home, it was still a job after all.

The classroom was fairly noisy as he watched the second hand ticking its way around the clock on the wall. Taking forever to pass that twelve at just the right minute of the day. Ten more and it would be just that minute, just 8 hours after he had officially started teaching this morning, although he had been at the school longer than 8 hours. Technically he should stick around for a little bit afterwards but not today, today he just wanted to go home, pretend he didn’t have papers to grade and that the weekend would be all his. No annoying kids for two days.

Tony didn’t consider them to be entirely annoying, he did love his job dearly after all. One had to enjoy teaching to throw away a chance at a career that would pay for everything you need and then everything you want. In his case you also had to have a strained relationship with the man who would give you that career.

Watching as the second hand ticked closer Tony felt thankful that his mind had wandered, though he could never be sure how it had wandered for almost ten minutes when his thoughts felt like a maximum of a minute. The second hand struck the twelve, carried on a little past before the bell went off and released them all.

All the students had packed their things up five minutes before the bell, they knew they could with Tony, he knew there was no point in trying to get them all to pay attention when they were distracted by getting to go home or getting a chance to spend time with friends. It was Friday, they were excited.

Picking up his bag Tony threw it over his shoulder, looking around to make sure he had grabbed everything. Test papers to grade over the weekend, that annoying essay he had them write was packed neatly under them from the seniors. Most of them would just show what a waste it was to assign an essay, most students failed to understand them and just as many of them would end up handing in almost the exact same essay that he had read many times before.

Snatching up the thermos sitting on his desk he made sure to shove it home in his bag before slinging it over his shoulder. By the time he had his bag all situated most of the students had vacated the room, save for the few usual stragglers. Ones who spent the last part of class trying to get their homework out of the way rather than packing up impatiently. He couldn’t blame them, having homework when you just wanted a weekend blew. At least it wouldn’t be homework from his class, none of his students could complain about that at least.

Waiting for the stragglers to vacate the room Tony fished the room keys from his pocket before heading out himself, locking up for the weekend brought a sense of relief. Slipping the keys to his room back into his pocket Tony fished his sun glasses from his bag and slipped them on, the sun felt brighter every day as they inched closer to the hot summer months and the end of school.

Just one more month and then a small break before he had to hold classes for summer session. If only every kid learned everything they were taught right off the bat, but some needed that extra push, for whatever reason. The only ones he hated teaching were the ones who clearly had no care to be there, all of them were just punks.

Punks aside, and the height of the sun overhead, he could go for some coffee as a pick-me up. Job well done at the end of the week, spice it up with a little extra kick before tackling some grading.

_***Loki***_

Trees passed, birches by their thin white trunks, empty white wrapped around them all like blankets across the Earth. As cold and boring as memory reminded him, every year it was this way, just not this late in the year. April was not usually still covered so heavily as it was. What a time to come back. Summer about a month away and the snow was clinging to everything in refusal to leave, just the opposite of what he felt.

“You know, father is happy you are coming home.” Thor tried, taking his eyes from the road long enough to give Loki a hopeful smile. It had been years now since they could get his brother home, he just wasn’t sure how Loki felt about it or if Loki had even wanted to come. “Oh, and how could I forget, Mother will want to know if you would like for her to try and cook dinner tonight. She would love to try and cook for you agai-“

“Thor, enough, we both know he isn’t actually happy to have me back. The way he threw me out in the first place, I only came because you asked me for help with Mother’s medical expenses.” Loki knew his tone was bitter, but he didn’t feel like beating round the bush with Thor on this one. This was no happy little family reunion, this was Odin being happy that Loki was taking some responsibility for the family. “You know he just wanted sons who would care for him when he was older, then I decided to write books while you became the doctor.”

Writing had not been the end, just another reason atop the mounting stack that Odin kept to hold against him. A stack that eventually toppled over into a full-blown drag out between them. How the years did fly.

Turning his attention away from his brother and the road, Loki cast his eyes out over the snowy forest outside. Reaching up he brushed his fingers over his chest, tangling them into the fabric of his shirt at the memories. Faded and full of holes as they were, they were still his memories and Loki wasn’t sure if he wanted the cold woods to be reminding him just yet.

Coming home after years was painful enough as it was. Before Thor could notice any of his distress Loki relaxed his fingers and smoothed out his shirt, turning away from the bitter memories among the birches to the road they were now turning off of. Leave it to his parents to live so far out of town in the forest, well, a subdivision twenty minutes out of town. The whole place was technically a forest, some national park he didn’t know, or care to know, the name of.

Feeling the car bump along the unplowed road he braced himself to see his parents again, to see everything he left behind again. When they rolled up to the house it was unsurprising that no one was outside waiting to greet them, Thor instead pulling into the three-car garage. Stepping out Loki was hit with the cold air, someone forgot to turn the heater on in the garage, more likely though it was broken. Usually their father would fix it, but he was too busy with their mother to pay attention to it, meaning Thor was the one slacking.

“Sorry for the cold, haven’t had a chance to call anyone about that heater, not much of a priority. The cars start alright and there’s no snow in the garage. I’m going to head in and tell everyone you’re here.” Thor didn’t offer to help with luggage, Loki had already declined at the airport, no point in asking a second time. Loki wasn’t about to ask for help bringing in a suitcase anyway, his room was just a few steps from the garage door. That is if no one had repurposed it while he was gone, in that case he could just shove it down the stairs and hope it didn’t smash into the tv that was probably still set up down in the basement.

Looking to the back of Thor’s old pick-up Loki could hardly help the frown that formed on his face. The back was too close to the garage door to open the tailgate, no thanks to Thor, he would have to hop into the back and drop his suitcase over the side if he wanted to get it out. Great start to his stay, extra work just to get the luggage out. Buttoning up his coat Loki went around and hopped up into the back of the truck.

Loki had never felt so thankful that he packed light in all the times he travelled as he did now hefting up the suitcase onto the side of Thor’s old ranger. Leaning over to drop the suitcase down Loki slipped, letting the suitcase fall over the side as his grip went slack. The tired light of the garage became bright and blinding, but raising his hand to shield his eyes did little and Loki found himself with no grip to keep himself up, toppling out of the back of the old ranger onto the garage floor to join his luggage with a grunt of pain.

Rolling onto his side he pushed himself up, starting to cough to try and shake himself of the shock from hitting the floor.

_––-Tony––-_

Coughs filled Tony’s ears despite being entirely alone in his car, the road no longer stretched out in front of him. Not exactly the first time he found himself driving and just dipping out of reality, prompting Tony to try and pull over with muscle memory and a strong attempt to focus on the road instead of the weird hallucinations that liked to overlay reality at the worst times.

Unlike all the times before this one seemed to grip him hard, making it hard to focus on what he was really seeing. Giving in Tony rested his head on his hands against the steering wheel and took in what he saw this time. A garage, he was coughing on his back with some luggage next to him and an old silver truck taking up the rest of his field of view. From what he gathered he must have fallen, judging by the dropped luggage and being sat on the concrete floor of a garage.

Actually, now that he looked at it more closely, he recognized this place, it had been years since he last saw it though, really weird that these hallucinations had some sort of continuity to them. If he remembered, the blonde owned the truck and he often got ferried around in it, Tony figured that whoever he was didn’t drive. Or just preferred to let himself be driven around by the blonde.

It bugged him that he was always along for the ride whenever he started seeing these little hallucinations. Right now he wanted to get home, so he really needed this one to be done with, and he was starting to feel a little antsy. Stretching his arms out along the dashboard, his fingers just barely pressing against the warm glass of his windshield. The windshield he couldn’t see at the moment, thanks entirely to still taking his sweet time getting off the garage floor.

“Definitely have all day for this, not like I had any plans for a lonely dinner at home. Or that I wanted to go home, who needs to go home?” Tony asked the annoyingly stationary version of himself. Or what he took as the him of this little imagination he came up with.

***Loki***

Loki jumped out of his skin when he heard talking, the fall had jarred him plenty, his vision dipping in and out weirdly. Between the garage and an unfamiliar dashboard. He had ignored it, wasn’t the first time he had momentary lapses but he didn’t like to dwell on them. Not after the arguments he had to hear when he was younger. They weren’t hard to block out entirely either, so there was no sense in putting much into them. He got them so few now.

There had never been talking before. Taking a deep breath Loki got up from the floor, gathering his luggage up so it wasn’t just lying discarded on the ground.

“We all would like to go home.” He answered, not expecting anything to come of it. Had he decided to focus he would have got the wonderful sight of Tony jolting back from his steering wheel.

Great now the hallucinations talk back to me, so, got any other wisdom to share? Loki could hear the disbelief in the voice, which was clearly only in his head. Trying to hide in the garage, while entirely possible, was entirely unreasonable given the weather. Someone was either too stupid or too desperate if they were hiding out in his parent’s garage.

Taking the bait Loki decided to see what the worst that could happen was, it was all in his head after all, what could something his mind cooked up do? “From where I stand, you are the hallucination and not me. I’m actually here. Unless you happen to have suddenly taken up residence in the tarp my brother keeps in the truck?”

Stealing my line there, I should be the one saying that. So unless you somehow climbed in my car, I’m definitely the alone one. Loki raised an eyebrow as Tony gestured about his empty car, it didn’t take much effort to focus now. Whatever connection he had to the visions was a lot stronger now, and easier to change focus on than past times where he had to fight to get his sight back to what was before him.

Car dashboard, outside there was no snow. A watch, he could clearly see a watch on one nicely tanned wrist. Easy enough to read once Tony’s hand settled back on the steering wheel Loki read over the little hands on the face. A little bit after half-past three in the afternoon, which was off by an entire hour when he checked the screen of his phone after fishing it from his pocket. According to the dimly lit screen the time was closer to being half-past two in the afternoon, not three.

“Your clock is wrong, and your weather is warm, pretending that this is not all in my head, just where would you say you are? Roughly?” Loki questioned as he settled back against Thor’s truck, no one was exactly tripping over themselves to welcome him or come out to see what was taking so long. Might as well strike up a conversation with, well, whatever this was. “Being only an hour ahead of my time, I would guess on the west coast.”

_Playing twenty questions? I have a better idea, how about I answer your question then you answer one of mine. Deal?_

Cliché but no one was trying to be original. “Deal, now will I get my answer or does the game start now?”

There was a laugh, the dash got a little further away, Loki assumed the seat was leaned back rather than sitting remotely upright given the distance. _California, you?_

California was as different as it came compared to Alaska, not very far, just a few thousand miles South. Not too long by plane. Well, if he got an answer then Loki could give one too. “Alaska, for the current moment at least, this is hardly what I consider home anymore.” 

There was a whistle of amusement and he dreaded that he might have to field the ridiculous questions of ‘so you live in an igloo’ or ‘do you have penguins’, and how could he forget the best one, ‘so is it true you ride polar bears around?’. _Your wearing a jacket in May, doesn’t your snow clear up by now?_

“The break-up begins around March, when the ice in the streams starts to crack apart and the snow melts. We’re having a strange year. Wait-“ Loki paused, he could have just been wearing a jacket from a cold summer, did this guy just think they had snow all year? “Wearing a jacket could just mean a cold Spring.”

 _Too thick for a cold spring, you did try though, I’ll give you some credit._ Only some? _I’d love to answer another one but can I get a rain check? I think my body is slowly trying to drown me even with the air conditioner going. How’s an hour sound?_

An hour? There was no way he could get that, he would be busy helping out around the house or playing catch up with his parents. Finding any time when it was his first day back would be impossible, unless, no one would bother him before bed and he could cover talking to himself with an easy lie. No one would know if he was or wasn’t on the phone with anyone.

“Can you do ten? Before bed would be easiest for me, less chance of being disturbed.” He didn’t mean to sound hopeful but having something to look forward to would make getting through the night much easier. “That would be eleven for you.”

_Eleven, don’t be late._

“How can I be late when you are in my head?” Loki asked with a smile that was quickly wiped away when the garage door opened, drawing him back to focus on what was around him and not the car parked on the side of a stretch of desert road.

_––-Tony––-_

Eleven ‘o clock was a lot more to look forward to than grading some papers while curled up on the couch with the TV playing whatever was on at the moment for background noise. Jarvis would still get his chance to curl up beside him on the couch as he sat, grading papers with anxious eyes constantly flitting up to the clock on the wall. Eleven just couldn’t come quick enough when he wanted it to.

“Am I being too impatient if I try to bug him now?” The clock was only at eight now, so seven Loki’s time, and about six hours after they last talked. That was enough time, right? Grading papers was hardly interesting when there was something better waiting for him if he was patient enough, and Tony Stark did not do patient.

Petting Jarvis’ head he didn’t really expect an answer from the old lab as he set the papers he was looking over down on the coffee table in front of his couch. Laying back against the couch he decided on a small invasion of privacy, just a small one, his little friend knew very well that they could see what the other could if they just tried.

A dinner table was set, filled with food before him and every chair filled by three others. Two Tony assumed would be Loki’s parents, and the third looked similar enough that he guessed sibling. Looking closely he recognized Thor, same blue eyes and blonde hair that he remembered, just a lot bigger. A lot.

Taking a stab in the dark, he decided to poke at Loki. “Are you both built like brick shithouses or is that just your brother over there? Point break looks like he could bench a car.” Tony only spoke because he knew that no one else could, or would ever, hear him when he spoke like this. Other than Jarvis and Loki at least, and one would never judge him for talking to himself when he often did so anyway, although some of it was directed at his good buddy rather than himself. Jarvis was a good sounding board for his thoughts, even if he couldn’t respond himself.

Tony felt a small prickle when Loki robbed him of a reaction of any kind, merely pausing for a moment with his fork hovering above a plate of what appeared to be chicken. The bastard was certainly lucky, all he got for dinner was some Chinese take-out from one of his usual places. Loki wasn’t participating in any dinner-time chatter, but even so he couldn’t really give a response without being overheard by everyone. Tony figured he needed to take the initiative and fill in for him, since it was technically too early for their chat.

“Relax and let me do the talking, don’t really want to be responsible for you getting choked by the chicken.” Tony didn’t stifle the laugh that came out of him when the fork paused again in Loki’s fingers, he got that one. “A little healthy dose of embarrassment, I can respect that.”

“Later.” Loki’s words, or word rather, was muffled a bit by the fork in his mouth. It had finally made the trip even with Tony pestering him.

“Yeah, that’s a problem, trying to listen to me without being serenaded into conversation with me. Big issue when I’m just in your head. Not in your head as in actually being in it, I’m sitting on the couch with Jarvis.”

“Shut up.” Loki spoke a bit more forcefully this time.

“Later. Don’t keep me waiting too long, and don’t choke. Kind of defeats the point of me waiting if you can’t show up.” Tony focused back in on his living room, smiling to himself. He could practically feel Loki rolling his eyes at him.

***Loki***

_The End of Summer_

The feeling of being watched had sank its teeth deep into Loki’s back, eyes constantly were flitting over to him as he once more stared out the window to the vibrant green of the forest. Just a mere two months and the harsh grip of winter had finally relented, pulling back and letting in spring. Summer followed quickly behind, but it was never truly summer. Cool breezes and pleasant weather felt more like spring from what movies and books often made you believe.

Glancing back from the woods Loki let his eyes meet those of his brother, daring him to keep up his silence. There was a sense of strain that had grown between them while he stayed, pushing back his return as their Mother started to wilt before them. Loki could even remember their fight outside her room where Thor had accosted him.

That was the one time he deserved his brother’s ire. Tony had weaseled his way in and refused to budge ever since they learned about their strange connection. At first it was certainly strange and hard to adjust to someone who could hear him without being there and see as he did. Eventually that melted away, Tony’s persistence was a great help in making that happen.

Thinking of Tony made him smile now, he had been there listening while his family fell into chaos over his Mother. He was also to blame for Thor’s anger towards him, his accusations that he had cared so much and then given up caring in the end. The distraction, the smiles and laughs, Thor had been hurting the same as he had and turned it into rage because he couldn’t understand.

Thor didn’t understand what could make Loki smile in the lonely confines of a house with their dearly loved and ailing mother. Clearly he was still wary, the way he was defiantly meeting Loki’s eyes as he drove down the highway to take him to the airport, even if he should be watching traffic. He didn’t want another fight, there was no point to leave on a bad note.

“Thor, we went over this at the hospital, we stopped talking years ago, you can’t just expect me to have no friends. Yes, I sought comfort during a bad time, that doesn’t mean that I don’t love her any less than you do. I simply decided there was no reason to bottle it up.” Loki sounded tired, and he was, he was tired of Thor looking at him like this. Like he should feel bad for seeming happy, even if Thor didn’t get to see the times he sat in front of the mirror just listening to Tony.

Listening to someone else try and give him hope, Loki was allowed to hide his grieving and act outwardly like nothing had been wrong. The same way he was allowed to go home now that things were doing better.

Turning away from Thor again Loki shut him and the forest around him out, everything was better, even with the burden of treatment on his shoulders now, Frigga was doing better. He was doing better.

Opening his eyes again Loki smiled at the window he was nearly leaned against, reading familiar words on the pages of a book, wishing he could comment. Tony could be a terrible liar sometimes, like when he tried to convince him that he hadn’t gone out and bought any of his books.

 _I can feel you eavesdropping on me, couldn’t wait could you? Aren’t you the one always telling me to be patient?_ Tony sounded amused, Loki definitely liked that sound best. It was better than the stumbling pain of trying to comfort each other thousands of miles away when they hadn’t met.

His amusement felt familiar now, always there in his head when Tony was off from work. Telling him about something funny Jarvis or a student did. He wanted to see that in person. He would see it in person, give or take several hours. Plane flights always were painful.

***Loki***

Everything about the airport felt like a mix between a rush and an agonizing wait. Getting through security, getting held up because Thor decided to forget a pocket knife in his bag. That involved a call once he was at his gate, informing his brother that the knife was gone and that his belongings were not storage places. He had no clue why the knife had ended up in his bag. After that it was just a game of getting to his gate, waiting, boarding and then waiting some more.

Standing outside his gate in Los Angeles was the hardest part of it all, people brushing past him as they went to catch connecting flights or head off to wherever their destination was. No part of him was nervous or scared, on the contrary, he felt a little stiff and bored from the flight if anything. What had him standing around was effort, Loki didn’t want Tony to peak in and see when he was coming.

It wouldn’t feel real if he did that, they would just be using their strange little bond when they had no need of it. There was only a trek through the airport between them now after all. Steeling himself from Tony’s nosiness Loki grabbed his carry-on and headed off, reading the signs to try and keep from winding up lost. LAX was not a place he wanted to think about trying to catch a connecting flight at.

Rounding a corner into baggage claim Loki would forever cherish the image it gave him. Tony was leaning against the wall by a bank of pay phones, cup of what he guessed to be coffee in hand to keep him going so early in the morning. That wasn’t what he would cherish though.

Walking towards Tony the man had shut his eyes, napping while standing up clearly. He hadn’t even attempted to hide the fact by wearing the sun glasses he had on him. There was no need to step lightly to sneak up on him with the noise of people moving about with noisy suitcases and carry-ons, even in the early hours of the morning, so Loki had no trouble.

Leaning against the wall beside Tony he cleared his throat. “Falling asleep against the wall with a cup of coffee is how you end up ruining your favorite shirt and costing me my ride.”

What he would cherish was the way Tony jolted awake, the dawning realization that he still had coffee in his hand manifesting as a small scramble to keep from dropping it, before ultimately leveling a small glare at Loki for a few moments. He failed to get a word in edgewise, Loki capturing his lips to still his tongue from sniping back at him like it loved to do. This was the moment he would always cherish.

Scaring the man who somehow both existed inside and outside of his head, and then shutting his sometimes-annoying mouth up for what felt like the first real time. All the others hardly counted.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope come back and write a bit more for this and fill in the little extra bit that is missing from their first interaction to the end. I couldn't expand upon it because obviously it is close to the deadline thanks to catching terribly sick. Otherwise that would be in there! This was actually meant to be put out on Christmas. Many apologies!


End file.
